Two Sides Coin of Death

Lately, I’ve been thinking about life more than any time that I spent to thinking
Probably it caused by my loneliness every night, far from home 

In the middle of nowhere, when I got a chance to talk to my friend, I would ask him/her, “How’s life?”
I don’t throw that kind question to just only random person, I ask that question to the person that I feel closed
Because I know sometimes it could become a rude question to ask

But when I ask you that question, I really do want to know your state condition.
Because I really do care about you
So if I ever ask you that question, you can count yourself as my closed ones 

One time, I met one of my long gone friend at hospital
We were best friend but life separates us away with different path of schools

After several minutes, I ask him what things that I missed about his life
It’s a long story to hear, but in the middle of his story.
He said one time he had suicidal thoughts on his mind
It happened when his life hit by tragedy and followed by tragedy after tragedy
I lost my words
He smiled painfully
My heart crumbling into pieces 

About one month earlier, one of my friend texted me on Instagram’s DM, she said that our friend has passed away caused by complication
I remembered that I cried when I heard that news
My friend that told me the news was fortunate enough to be able accompanying her in our friend last seconds
But her last words pain me the most
She said clearly that she was afraid of death
And if she could, she wanted to keep alive and continue pursue her dreams 

These two stories doesn’t related on every each to another and we have no right to judge their stories
Because we never experienced what life that they have been trough 

But it just got me thinking
Death is just like two sides of coin
One side is a life that really want to die
And another side is a life that really want to live 

Sometimes we can be really afraid of death,
But sometimes we can be really not bothered to death, even not cared about it at all
Life, somehow can be so cruel and unfair
And It always reminds myself that everyone has a battle to fight 

No matter what status that we already got, or what things that we already accomplished in life
Everyone has their own problems in a way that maybe we can't understand 

When I started to wrote this essay, I really didn’t know how I will conclude this topic
But I really want to say

In this fast paced world
When everyone already busy on their life routine
Don’t forget to ask your closest ones, "how’s life?" 

I believe somehow, it will help them in a way that maybe we cant imagine before